From the LaBrea Tarpits

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Just so you know, I will be posting the all comments I have been receiving from lunatics and mentally disordered and annoying insects / I  mean “disordered individuals” here. It may even be a multiple personality posting under many names. How “they” discovered my small blog is beyond me, but now that they’ve landed, they don’t seem to want to let go.

Here’s what I’ve got for you, if you don’t STOP. You go your way and I will go mine. End of the story, it’s the end of the line. Stop antagonizing others that you don’t even know. If you keep it up, eventually you will get hit back. Didn’t you learn this in the schoolyard as a child?

If you don’t want your stories told, if you are ashamed of your actions, THEN DON’T DO THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO HIDE.

KEEP TYRING ME. Like an aggravating mosquito, you will be swatted! This is what I have for you in return. You won’t run me into the ground. I won’t run and I won’t hide. I will fight back. Guess who will prevail?

(Hint: I’m not the Dire wolf.)

Dire wolves mired in the La Brea tar pits, while fighting Smilodon over a Columbian mammoth carcass by R. Bruce Horsfall.jpg

Two Dire wolves mired in the La Brea tar pits, while fighting a Saber Tooth Tiger (Smilodon) over a Columbian mammoth carcass by R. Bruce Horsfall

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dire_wolf#/media/File:Smilodon_and_Canis_dirus.jpg

More:

Greatest Tiger Attacks Ever Caught On Camera

How many hits does this small site get?

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As of today 6 August 2016

  • 897 hits

33 more hits in the past 1 day = 30+ hits per day.

I have to learn how to make my posts “private” but don’t know how yet. Then there will be nothing for them to monitor. The devil never sleeps!

As of today 5 August 2016

  • 864 hits

90 more hits in the past 3 days = 30 hits per day. It just keeps going up & up & up & up…

Do they have nothing else to do all day long?

As of today 2 August 2016

  • 774 hits

309 more hits in the past 16 days = almost 20 hits per day. How can this be? I will have to start checking IP addresses again. Luckily comments must be approved in advance, so no problems there.

As of today 15 July 2016

BLOG STATS

  • 465 hits

 

How are people even finding my page? This many site visits are quite remarkable. I have disabled comments, so no attacks are possible. Plus I still have legal “watchdogs” in place. What a relief. I hope these posts warn people and no one else is hurt by these disordered individuals, and that everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – can one day find “PEACE.”

I was told that my standard closing was “trying to turn the PEACE site into a religious site” and I don’t even go to church! But I do believe in a “Higher Power” or whatever you want to call it, and I do ask to be “shown The Way” every night and every day.

Nothing wrong with asking for help, especially when it’s from a cool and silent place inside that brings peace and tranquility to ourselves and to the world.

Dear God, please show us The Way.

Gracias, Amen.


 

UPDATE: Here we are on July 28, with 625 hits, 160 more hits in less than two weeks.

It comes to 12 to 14 times PER DAY.

Do they have nothing better to do? I can hardly believe it. You should see the comments that I still do not post. Calling me every name in the book; complaining about my “religious” quotes, and how I “dominated the discussions” despite so many people appreciating what I wrote and when I stated I was going to leave the group, a huge number of people said “Oh, no, Catherine, please don’t go.”

Then I was told by NoMoreDramaMom that I “would not be allowed to USE the membership” (although what I was “using” them for was never stated) and I was banned immediately. Couldn’t even say goodbye to anyone. It was the craziest thing I have ever have happen to me and I have to assume it’s those same admins that are leaving their nasty comments here. What they apparently don’t understand is that their IP address is listed with every single comment here, and I can and will turn it over to the police if they don’t stop harassing me.

I have the right and the obligation to tell the truth about MY EXPERIENCE with the P.E.A.C.E. site. As a warning to others, if nothing else, and to help me realize that bad behavior by others isn’t always “my fault.” The names they call me and the accusations they throw my way are really more of them looking in the mirror AT THEMSELVES.

How did they even FIND my small blog? And why are they returning? *Almost* makes me laugh, but it’s really just a shame that people like this exist purporting to “help” people who are broken hearted already. People need to be warned and that is what I am doing. Whether they like it or not.

 


 

UPDATE: as of 31 July 2016

  •  718 hits

93 hits in 3 days = 31 visits PER DAY.

I had no idea that so many people had been injured or banned by this very sick forum, or it is admins with nothing better to do all day! Or a combination of both. I’m glad my blog is doing some good for some people and I hope it is helping all that might need it.

 

For those of you who have posted that I am “hateful and angry and vengeful,” that is incorrect. I am posting the truth about my experience with this very sick group. No more and no less, and hoping that people reading about my experience will know that they too “are not the only ones,” and their bad treatment  WAS NOT THEIR FAULT.

 

If I can take one thing away from all this, this will be the lesson I most want and need to learn.

 

Dear God please show me The Way.

Gracias, Amen.

Speak Your Truth no matter what names you are called.

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After thinking about it and receiving more negative comments from some of the same bad actors, as I struggled to find “forgiveness in my heart” for these abusive individuals, I have come to realize that “forgiveness” is wasted on some and is no antidote to their irrational cruelty. I must find another way to deal with them.

Do we forgive Hitler or Mussolini or any other of the dangerous crackpots that have ruled the world? Yet these same type of irrational personalities, in diminutive form, rule the internet in their own little fiefdoms, and they rule and punish “with an iron hand.” Just as a poisonous toad “rules” it’s hole in the mud, or a poisonous snake “rules” in it’s den.

* * * * *

Matthew 23:33 “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape …

Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell? … “Snakes! Brood of vipers! How can you escape being condemned to hell?

 

* * * * *

Will I continue to attempt to “forgive them?” The answer is NO. Forgiveness is wasted on some. Forgiveness is God’s job and I put they and their problems “into the Hands of God,” which is where this belongs.

I have no control over them, their ways, their thinking, actions or anything else. It’s over for me. I will continue to speak my truth no matter how they might try to harass me, as others need to be warned and protected if they are assaulted in the same way.

I will ask forgiveness for “my part in this” by even questioning anything on their site (I didn’t recognize how seriously sick this forum was) and leave it at that. I will stay away from disordered individuals and their forums and their websites as there is little to nothing to be gained there, except how to blame others for the problems that people create for themselves. God help the children of those disordered individuals. How they managed to survive that kind of childhood is a miracle to me.

* * * * *

The one (Silver Lining) in all of this is my finally realizing that NOTHING any of us do will change the mindset, behavior or beliefs of these kind of mentally disordered individuals.

NOTHING can “change their mind” as they see the whole world as  either “for” or “against” them. There is no room for anyone else’s way of doing things, opinions, likes or dislikes. Their “rules,” which can change with the wind, must be adhered to at all costs, regardless of the facts of the situation. They will not listen to another side and they do not tolerate being questioned. The least bit of disagreement over ANYTHING AT ALL brings about an instant rejection or attack since they can’t see that people can have different ideas and approaches, and that working TOGETHER is the most positive and productive way to be.

No, everything has to be THEIR WAY or NO WAY AT ALL.

I feel sorry for them, but not sorry enough to let them invade my world. That will never happen again. I will not breathe the poisonous air around them. I will protect and care for my self, as I deserve to live in peace and express myself and my feelings and my experiences. No one, no matter what names they call me, can take that away from me.

These kinds of personalities (dare I even say “people?”) have to be “right” and all the others have to be “wrong.” That’s the way their world operates; it’s the only thing that they can see. It’s positive or negative, black and white world. It must be very difficult for them to maneuver in their world. But it’s their problem, not mine, and I don’t want it to become my problem ever again. They can commiserate with each other and leave the rest of us alone!

They can stick to their way of thinking and I will stick to mine. I don’t invade their space at all. I wish they would not invade mine. I don’t go to their blog; why are they coming to mine? It’s their own words they are seeing; it’s their own behavior being made known. They cannot control this or hide it anymore. They don’t control the whole world, no matter how much they would like to. There’s a word for people like this but it isn’t coming to mind right now. But it isn’t good.

They can’t exert control or influence on my blog any more than I would bother to try to exert control on theirs. They didn’t like what I wrote ONE TIME and I was gone. That was it. OK. Accepted. Now I have my own blog describing my own experiences, and trying to find forgiveness in my heart. Yet these people make it very difficult and keep adding to the pyre every single day. Is this the only thing they know how to do? Do they have no sense of decency what-so-ever? Have they never heard “live and let live?” Apparently not.

 

I believe that with any relationship, including estranged parents and their adult children. we are obligated to look at our own role in things, intentional or not. We can only offer an olive branch to the opposing side if we want peace, and this was strenuously objected to by some of the admins on the P.E.A.C.E. site. What kind of “peace” are they espousing? How do they ever think there will be a peaceful and productive resolution to conflict within their own family, if they cannot and will not refrain from calling their adult children and ex-husbands horrible names? No wonder they are estranged!

 

And my saying that I “put my relationship with my son into the Hands of God” and pray for resolution every single day was deemed “trying to turn their site into a religious site” therefore I was banned. And now so-called “Christian” supporters are telling me I am “no Christian” for describing what was done and said on the so-called P.E.A.C.E. site?

What kind of lunacy is going on here? Are there admins lurking on my blog that have multiple personality disorders, so they adopt different characters at will? I have no idea, but I won’t deal with them any more. That’s it. This is THE END. Further harassment by any of them will result in legal action, that is guaranteed.

There is no end to the lengths these kinds of people will go to, just as the ones who focus on celebrities and send them threats as well. It’s the same thing with claustrophobic and controlling governments: it’s “off with their heads” or “send them to Siberia” and the Secret Police who come in the middle of the night, and you are “banned” permanently within an instant and no one knows why. You are just GONE. Yet I am the one being called  a “bully?” LOOK IN THE MIRROR. See what you are saying: you are describing yourselves.

Call me all the names you want; it still changes nothing about the facts and the truth. As I said before, I don’t bother them and they should not bother me. As some of these people seem to believe “the world is against them,” they should stick to their own backyard! No need to come to mine.

* * * * *

This must be what people talk about when they say “forgiveness” is for the forgiver, not for the abuser. For some die-hard cases, forgiveness is as meaningless as tossing a stone into a pitch black hole, sinking to the bottom of God only knows where. Possibly into the fire pit of hell. Some people can’t tell the difference between right and wrong and will always throw back whatever they are doing in your face, blaming you and say it was YOU who were doing it!

Love and forgiveness has no place in the toxic environment these people create. They only dispel the light and love from above. They bring darkness wherever they go. I am not immune to the virus that they carry, so they must be given wide berth with No Contact whatsoever. Only heroes and saints can withstand these kind of people, and I am not there yet. Perhaps one day I will, but not today. And probably not tomorrow.

They know just how to jab and draw blood for yet another wound. So I will take steps to protect myself and expose them for who and what they are. Devils all! They come to destroy, not to build. They come with illness, not to heal. They come with destruction, not construction. They destroy all that they touch and sacrifice no one and nothing, except for their own self-centered ends. I feel sorry for them but I will never forgive them. I’m done with that.

There are a number of psychological diagnoses for this kind of behavior, but I don’t care what it is called. Those people are often called “trolls” and I can now see why. They can’t see the truth and they will never take responsibility for their own actions, so once again, I will give them wide berth while taking steps to expose every single negative message they send my way.

I will have them investigated for their IP addresses and find out where they live and turn their messages over the to police. I will take out an “internet restraining order,” just like some of their estranged adult children have done in taking out restraining orders against them to keep them away. I don’t blame those adult children one bit! Now I know what must have led them to act this way. When someone doesn’t listen but continues to assault and attack, all the while saying it is YOU that is doing it, sometimes you have no choice but to fight back to keep them away. Harassment is against the law and I will not be harassed any longer. Not by any of these people, sick though they may be. I will not be poisoned by their own pen. No more. I will accept no more.

 

My blog will speak MY truth, about MY experiences. It’s nobodies business but my own. Others can read it and weep, read it and laugh, or read it and simply go away. Write whatever they want on their own blog. If you can’t stand the truth about yourself then find somewhere else to go. Stay away from mine. Take responsibility for your actions. What you see here is a picture of YOU.

 

One day anonymity on the internet will no longer be tolerated and everyone’s words and deeds will be open for all to see. Then they will no longer be able to skulk in the corners and hide in the shadows and play their devil tricks on an unsuspecting and trusting audience. If you call yourself “Christians,” then God help us all. Pray for yourselves, not for me. I don’t need your kind of “prayers.” How dare you tell me how to worship? How dare you try to judge anyone as if you were God? What is wrong with you to even think such a thing? You show the greatest hypocrisy which is as great a sin as the false witness you bear. Hypocrites, all.

 

Find someone else to torment with your names and your lies. It will no longer be me as I don’t have to have ANYTHING to do with you; just leave me alone. Stay away from my blog as I stay away from yours. I have nothing to do with you and don’t invade your space. Don’t invade mine.

Keep to your own cruel world. I want no part of it. Exposure is the only thing that will drive the devil out of the light and into the dark where s/he belongs. I have had enough.

Go to heaven or hell; God will send you right where you belong.

It is not up to me, and where you end up will have NOTHING to do with me.

 

Dear God protect me and defend me from deranged individuals like this. Surely all the wasps in the world and the poisonous spiders, toads and snakes cannot have any effect when God is on your side, even as they pour out of these Medusa’s heads.

In trying to understand these personalities, the Greeks knew them best, and named them the “Gorgon Medusas.”*

Cut one off and another comes to take it’s place. Is there any difference below? LOL!

Medusa6.jpg

 

Trump nest hair.png

I ask God to protect me from these devils inside and out. Give me leave to learn how to not be injured by spurious comments. Let their own words bounce back onto them right where they belong, just like the children’s rhyme about how cruel words “bounces off of me and sticks to you.” LOL!

* * * * *

I must not let these people get to me and let me become “like them.” This is of course what these devils want. Reading further in the Bible quote I posted above, I find this (and I don’t study the bible by any means, as so-called Christians make me sick):

Matthew 5:22
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be subject to the fire of hell.

* * * * *

Dear God please protect me and defend me; guide me and show me The Way.

Practice Patience and Prayer in all things.

Gracias, Amen.

* * * * *

  • Medusa’s Story:

Medusa was not always a hideous female with living venomous snake hair who turned people to stone at the direct sight of her. In fact, before Medusa was cursed she was a ravishingly beautiful woman with magnificent long hair. She was known to be so beautiful that she was beyond the reach of any male desire. Medusa comes from the Greek word Μέδουσα (Médousa) meaning guardian and protectress. Being a priestess in Athena’s temple, Medusa took a vow of chastity and was originally known as a symbol of purity due to her innocent sexual nature.

Medusa2Note: While Athena is commonly known as the goddess of warfare she is also the the virgin goddess of wisdom, courage, inspiration, civilization, law and justice, mathematics, strength, strategy, the arts, crafts, and skill.
To find out more about what happened to her, read here: could this be part of their problem(s)?  I don’t know and don’t want to find out, but I am trying to find a glimmer of goodness in all this mud.
http://www.philosophicallychallenged.com/blog/%CE%BC%CE%AD%CE%B4%CE%BF%CF%85%CF%83%CE%B1/

Speak Your Truth; it may help others too…

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This whole discussion came about after a couple of comments that came in after “Mirror Mirror on the Wall…(who is the most hateful of them all?)” I thought it was important enough to go ahead and make this into a whole ‘nother post. Here goes:

* * * * *

I wrote: Thanks to Juansen Dizon for their great comment:

“You should go see what they’re up to. Maybe you’ll like their blog as much as they liked yours!”

LOL!!!

Then came a very heartfelt comment from Sarah:

“Please, don’t go and see what they’re up to. You are better than that!

Walk in the light, lead by example and show the many that scorn you as full of hatred, that you are instead, full of His goodness and taking the high road.

You seem like a nice person who has let a small rejection take hold and fester. Don’t wish them ill, don’t wish them anything. Remove them from your thoughts and let God show you that the way is through love not hate.

When you write about God, you write so beautifully. I pray that one day there will be no essence of them on your site. It will be full of only love, praise for Him and messages of the good work you do.

I send you blessings and I pray for you daily with love and light.”

My response:

Thank you Sarah.

I was thinking the same thing, that it wouldn’t be of any benefit to “go to their site” to see what more hatred and ire they are writing about me. I got enough of that when I was a member of their site, and the hate mail campaign they subjected me to afterwards. I still get enough of hate mail  from the comments they leave on this blog (which I don’t have to publish, and I don’t. Hahahaha! Now THAT’S  a good feeling!)

I was thinking the same thing, however, that there is a (Silver Lining) in all of this, as it is leading me closer to God, and to understanding what true “forgiveness” is. It’s not accepting bad behavior, but it’s also not retaliating against them. It’s putting it in God’s Hands to “heal these wounds.” And set me free from pain, shame, guilt and sorrow.

You wrote:

“You seem like a nice person who has let a small rejection take hold and fester.”

That’s the only thing I might disagree with you about. What happened was not a “small rejection.” It was a sustained attack that lasted weeks, by a group of hateful people who ganged up on me in public and in private. I had to finally threaten them with legal and criminal action to make them stop. Harassing people and sending hate mail and threats is now against the law. Thank God for all favors, large and small.

You have no idea how many wounds this group subjected me to, and as is often the case, writing it all out” is one of the best roads to healing, whenever trauma has occurred. I won’t pretend that this event did not take place, nor will I keep silent allowing them to do this to others. My words and experience can be a warning to others to “enter at their own risk” and know what to expect. If they have a good experience, fine, if not, they will at least know they weren’t the only one, and it is truly “not their fault.” A bad experience for one can be of benefit to many!

I was blasted on their website, branded, “tarred and feathered” with the cruelest things said about me – who they never even knew – inundated with hate mail and even a call from one admin (Sue, aka IGaveUpNowWhat) for them all to get together and “destroy my business.” And sending me daily emails threatening me for weeks at a time. This is hardly a “small rejection.” I’m not sure where you got that idea. If I wrote something that gave you that impression, I need to correct it immediately!

We work with indigenous Mayan Indians for the past ten years and every cent we make in profit goes back to them. We have taken no wages in all these years and I have spent my own personal savings helping the artisans we work with when their family does not have enough, when the children need shoes and school books and the wives or husband need medical care. We have been able to create jobs, open sales markets in the United States, pay better than “Fair Wages,” provide higher education and medical expenses for some of the poorest people in the world. And this is the “business” this group of estranged parents are going to destroy?

It took this last act of hatred and vengeance for me to tell them I would go to the police and they would be identified by their IP addresses which can easily be traced. That put a temporary stop to their ongoing, daily attacks and email threats. I was mobbed by this group, for quite a long time, so it wasn’t a “small rejection” by any means.

Trivializing trauma doesn’t help at all.

Please don’t assume things that “aren’t in evidence,” and suggest that keeping silent is a “better way.” It’s really not and it only allows bad behavior to continue. If everyone kept silent, how would anything change? What protections would any of us have from bullies, tyrants, violent abusers and more? Do you not think that people should be warned? I feel it is an obligation we have to protect others. At least they will have an idea of what they may be “walking into.”

“Beware” is something that we put on toxic, dangerous chemicals. Should we not put it on toxic, dangerous websites?

You also wrote:

“When you write about God, you write so beautifully. I pray that one day there will be no essence of them on your site. It will be full of only love, praise for Him and messages of the good work you do.”

I think that is very sweet of you to say this; it’s truly very nice. I don’t believe that God does not want us to speak the truth about our experiences, feelings and observations. I don’t think God is only “love and light.” God knows the Dark Side exists and mentions it Himself in the Bible repeatedly. He doesn’t pretend that it isn’t just as real as love. If people cannot express their real feelings, they cannot process them and actually heal. The beauty of healing is seeing the wounds cover over and greater wisdom appear. I think I should post this as another post and later on I will. Thank you for making me realize all this.

And here is another BIG “however:” I believe it is important for people to know who they are dealing with, and when or if they too are attacked and banned, it’s such a huge shock that if there wasn’t a notice online about who these people are, and what they do and how dangerous they can be, others may be damaged the same way I was. Until I found out from other survivors of their onslaught, I had no idea that it wasn’t “only me.” Their stories help me overcome the shock and trauma these people had put me through. Before I heard from others, I kept wondering “what did I do wrong? How could this have happened?”

Once I knew this was these admins “modus operandi,” I could rest much easier at night, and help protect others from the same kind of trauma and distress.

Your comment is the same as telling a rape or assault victim to “not speak about it,” “keep silent,” and have “no essence of them on your site.” What good will that do? It isn’t the TRUTH, and the TRUTH counts. Every experience counts, and when “vinegar is turned into wine” we know transformation has occurred. That’s the miracle and (Silver Lining) in all this.

So I can’t agree with removing all traces of what these people did and the effect it had on me, and the healing process I have had to go through which is beneficial in the end. That’s the beauty of the healing process. The scars they leave tell a story of life and of love, or bitterness and regret. I love the process of turning lemons into lemonade, and that is what happens when we write it all out, and get justification from others. Not more urgings to remove oneself from one’s true feelings. Feelings must be honored, no matter what they are. And that is what this blog is doing for me. As well as the public service of protecting others, since there is no Better Business Bureau with ratings for blogs!

Trauma victims and survivors of attacks are OBLIGATED to speak out about it, in order for themselves to heal, and to warn and protect others. Joining sites like this that offer “safety, comfort, healing and support” and are actually the exact opposite of that need to be exposed for what they are. People who go there (including myself) who are in a very fragile state might not make it through the rejection, banning, assault and attacks that can transpire.

Warnings like this ARE important. If videos can have a warning about “flashing lights” because some people might have an adverse reaction, should we also post warnings about toxic websites run by toxic and severely disordered aministrators? There are more and more of them online, and something needs to be done about it.

The P.E.A.C.E. site for estranged parents is a very sick forum, and you may well not find out until it’s too late.

Prayer goes a long way in healing, but silence doesn’t. It’s both together that I think makes for a more harmonious, peaceful and JUST world.

“When you write about God, you write so beautifully.” Thank you! I was attacked severely on the P.E.A.C.E. site just for mentioning “meditation and prayer” and closing with my favorite quote. It was as if it were the Devil himself going after me over there. It actually made me hesitant (for a little while) to use my own favorite quote and reminder that means so much, which I will close with today, and thank you again for your kind and heartfelt words. They mean a LOT to me right now!

“The winds of grace blow all the time; all we need do is set our sails.”
Dear God please show us The Way,
and “Put it in God’s Hands.”

Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, by Pema Chödrön

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This is what I need to learn: “Freeing ourselves from old habits and fears.”  Checking out Pema’s book – excerpt below. There’s even a discount code (expires 8/10/16). Came just in time. Heading there now!

LEARN MORE | BOOKS AND AUDIO | THE PEMA CHÖDRÖN FOUNDATION
 

 Best-seller Pema Chödrön draws on the Buddhist concept of shenpa to help us see how certain habits of mind tend to “hook” us and get us stuck in states of anger, blame, self-hatred, and addiction. The good news is that once we start to recognize these patterns, they instantly begin to lose their hold on us and we can begin to change our lives for the better.

“This path entails uncovering three basic human qualities,” explains Pema. “They are natural intelligence, natural warmth, and natural openness. Everyone, everywhere, all over the globe, has these qualities and can call on them to help themselves and others.”

This book gives us the insights and practices we can immediately put to use in our lives to awaken these essential qualities. In her friendly and encouraging style, Pema Chödrön helps us take a bold leap toward a new way of living—one that will bring about positive transformation for ourselves and for our troubled world.

———————-

August 1, 2016  Excerpt:

FEELING THREATENED BY PEACE

The peace that we are looking for is not peace that
crumbles as soon as there is difficulty or chaos. Whether
we’re seeking inner peace or global peace or a combination
of the two, the way to experience it is to build on
the foundation of unconditional openness to all that
arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of challenges, free
of rough and smooth, it’s an experience that’s expansive
enough to include all that arises without feeling
threatened.

Excerpted from:
Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, page 87.
by Pema Chödrön.

READ MORE    |   ADD TO BAG|   BROWSE INSIDE

Save 15% on this title!
Use the code LEAP at checkout.
Offer expires 8/10/16.

 


 “DON’T BITE THE HOOK”

Here’s another interesting one by Chodron, on 3 CD’s. This might help me to remember “don’t bite the hook” when I am being attacked, provoked, needled, or around anyone who trying to engage me in conflict. Love the cover art; makes it easy to remember!

http://www.shambhala.com/don-t-bite-the-hook.html

Don’t Bite the Hook

Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and Other Destructive Emotions

$24.95

CD AVAILABLE

DESCRIPTION

Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children—and before we know it, we’re upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says Pema Chödrön. It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable shocks, losses, and frustrations of life so that we can find true happiness. The key, Pema explains, is not biting the “hook” of our habitual responses. In this recorded weekend retreat, Pema draws on Buddhist teachings from The Way of the Bodhisattva to reveal how we can:

  • stay centered in the midst of difficulty
  • improve stressful relationships
  • step out of the downward spiral of self-hatred
  • awaken compassion for ourselves and others

3 CDs, 3 hours

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The Ten Commandments

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1675 Ten Commandments

This 1768 parchment (612×502 mm) by Jekuthiel Sofer emulated the 1675 Ten Commandments at theAmsterdam Esnoga synagogue.  more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments

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One does not have to go to church or belong to a religion, as I don’t, but we can still follow this simple set of rules for positive harmonious relations and interactions. These ten simple rules / “commandments” have been around for more than 2,000 years and they still hold true today.

When were they passed down and written “on tablets of stone?”

When I read “thou shalt not have any other Gods before me” I take this to mean you should not worship greed, acquisition, money or any other item that would take away from the God of kindness, compassion and humanity we are to show to one another.

Would that we would all remember them and abide by them; Life would be so much easier if we did so. From Wikipedia:

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The Ten Commandments, also known as the Decalogue, are a set of commandments which the Bible describes as having been given to the Israelites by God at biblical Mount Sinai. The Ten Commandments are listed twice in the Hebrew Bible, first at Exodus 20:1–17, and then at Deuteronomy 5:4–21.

The Tale of Two Wolves

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Cherokee Legend – Two Wolves. – First People of America and Canada

American Indian Legends : A Cherokee Indian Legend – Two Wolves. … grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” …

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Another excellent site about this parable, with different versions (excerpts pasted below). There are also links to share this page on many different social media sites. “This page tells the Tale of Two Wolves and explores the possible history of the parable of the Two Wolves. A podcast about feeding your good wolf.”

The Parable -Tale of Two Wolves – The One You Feed

 See more on this excellent site, and sign up for emails as I did!

[…] start with your thoughts. There is a wonderful parable from The One You Feed Podcast (one you may enjoy) that goes like […]

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(and many more comments)

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall…

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Who is the most hateful of them all?

I am FINALLY seeing that there is both GOOD and EVIL in this world, and that nothing I do is ever going to change that. That is the dichotomy of life. I don’t know why we live in a “Black and White” world, a world of “light and shadows” unless it is to teach us to “Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do.” And even if they do!

I never understood this, and am not sure that I still do… I think people have to take responsibility for their actions and they *could* change if they *wanted* to, but perhaps the original saying is correct. Perhaps they need FORGIVENESS more than anything else. But sometimes people (like animals) need a good “sock in the nose” to learn to change their ways! Nothing any of us seems to change anything about them or their reactions.
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People always say “You can’t control other people’s behavior,” and this must be true in some cases. But thank God we have justice also in this world, with rules about honesty, compassion, and human decency. The Ten Commandments lays it out pretty simply. One does not have to go to church or belong to a religion (as I don’t) to abide by these, and they are easy to remember and to abide by.

Thank God we also have delete buttons and more. Even all the way to financial fines and jail. It can take a lot for some people to alter their behavior even though they might still “think” the same way. But alter they should. We can’t do it for them; it HAS to come from them, “within.” And the same goes for me to alter my reaction, from “within.” This is what I will concern myself with for now and into the future.

No matter how tightly you twist yourself into pretzel shapes, or try to “walk on eggshells” or “say the right thing,” they are not going to change and will still lash out at will. Perhaps, just maybe, there is something in their brains or emotional make-up that makes them hateful, spiteful, angry and more. Add in mental illness, drugs, alcohol, and anger, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Whatever it is, I feel sorry for them. For whatever they put out into the world is not only “what comes back to them” but a “reflection of who they are.”

Not what we are. What THEY are.

All I can do is bid them adieu and wish them well, no matter what. I don’t have to place myself in jeopardy and have toxic contact with any of them, and I don’t have to excuse their bad behavior, but I don’t have to be hurt or angry either. Or blame myself!

All I have to do is take care of myself & give them wide berth.

I don’t go to church, but I am starting to believe more and more every day in the power of prayer and meditation. It’s the only thing that seems to protect us from the buffeting winds of both attacks & change. It’s as if a big black cloud of evil, anger and fear descends upon the earth and shifts round and round, covering the world with darkness with bright patches of sunlight in between. Thank God for the light, which we wait for every day and every night, as the sun sets with the beautiful sunrise and rises again in the morn.

I believe that evil is some kind virus that infects people, and correspondingly infects others who are exposed to them, leading to the “mob mentality” we see so often.

Only the ones who have been exposed and are then immune are the ones we call heroes and saints.

We need more of them in our world.

“Dear God grant us grace, love us and protect us and show us how to live.”

Gracias, Amen.

 

Response to my previous post, D-Evil?

Here’s my response to another person I have been corresponding with, regarding the nature of “evil” (or d-evil, mental illness, or whatever you want to call it, as it all ends up the same):
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Thank you for writing again, my friend.

Glad the post looks “good” to you. I really appreciated receiving your letter. I still want to post more of the responses that I have received, although people are afraid of being attacked by the sick and toxic admins who have been monitoring my blog.

But reading the stories about what the admins are doing on other sites, since they made the change from Daily Strength* made a HUGE difference for me to read about their awful behavior on the other site. This needs to be known.

*(terrible behavior, going back to Daily Strength and elsewhere, trying to get more members for their new site and being banned and making up new screen names and getting banned again, over and over again)  

I too am amazed at the amount of hits that my little blog is now getting. I looked at the stats and people are coming from all over the world. Who knew? There must be an awful lot of people who have had negative experiences with this toxic forum that purports to offer a “safe place for healing and support” when nothing could be further from the truth.

Why do they behave this way? That is the Big Question.  Mental = Evil = D Evil = Devil ???

You wrote:

“When someone comes at you with a hatred that seems out of place and over the top, you have to wonder if they are being influenced by evil forces.

When things like that happen, and I have had them happen quite a few times in my life, I always think of

Ephesians 6:12

“For we wrestle not against flesh & blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

I have often thought that this might be true. I was raised by the nuns in Catholic school and almost become a nun when I was young, but given the hypocrisy of the church (and worse that has come out since then) I gave up going to any church at all. But I still believe in “The Divine” or “Higher Self” or “God” or whatever you want to call it. I believe we are responsible for the actions we do in this world, be they good or evil, positive or negative.
I try to stay on the positive side, truth-telling “in the light.” What more can we do in this world?

I was attacked over and over for “trying to turn P.E.A.C.E. into a religious site” just because I said I put my sorrow and lack of relationship with my estranged son “into the hands of God” and asked God to “Show me The Way.”

That was part of the justification for banning me!
So I have wondered if the Evil Ones haven’t invaded that forum. I see it happening all over the world, including so many large non-profits that were once truly “helping the people,” only to be taken over by some crooked scammer who stole all the money. Same thing goes on here in Guatemala, where I live part-time and work with the indigenous Mayan artisans, some of the poorest in the world. Some of the admins stated they should “all get together and destroy my business” which helps the Mayans with every cent we make, when I simply posted the emails they had sent to me!

I’m going to post this part of my conversation with you today, as I feel so much better now, and hope you will be having a fine day too.

Your friend “in grace and comfort,” Catherine Todd

Another Heartfelt Email

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Saturday, 30 July 2016

Catherine,
I’m glad that my contacting you has shown you that you weren’t the only one.
The best thing you can take from this is that it wasn’t you.
It never was you.
As you have already seen,
there will always be someone else who will anger them.
It doesn’t take much.
 
Be very glad that you are no longer involved with that group.
I am so relieved that I now know what I know.
The way I was treated was actually a gift.
I can put them behind me and walk on.
Away from dysfunction and towards real help.
I have learned to be very sure of who I am taking advice from.
 
I do believe that God put this in my path for a lesson
and I’m going to take it as that and learn from it.
I’m going to stop focusing on things I can’t change
and people who don’t want me in their lives.
 
I’m sure there will be more visitors and comments left on your site
by others who will have been badly treated by them.
They are the ones I feel sorry for.
Hopefully God will steer them away from there and to real help.
And hopefully they also find your site.
 
Glad you’re doing well. I’ll be peeking in from time to time.
If for no other reason than to see the sheer number of visitors
you have by exposing the truth. 
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Best Wishes & God Bless,
Linda  
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NOTES & THOUGHTS:

I received this email yesterday, with permission to post it.

I had no idea that so many people had been brutalized by some of the admins on the P.E.A.C.E. site for estranged parents, as I too was. Talk about a dichotomy, even when it comes to their name. The best (Silver Lining) to come out of my own very difficult experience with the admins on the estranged parents “PEACE” site was to learn “it’s not always all my fault,” and that I have no power to “fix things” if they don’t want to be fixed. That means relationships or anything else that has to do with Human Nature.

That’s the one (Silver Lining) in all of this for me, and the comments (published and unpublished) I have received on this small blog has been so helpful. I’m hoping that anyone else coming here can get the support I have received, which is why I have created this blog. It’s so similar to the estrangement I experienced with certain members of my family of origin, coming to light with the destructive admins on the PEACE site.

People letting me know I am not “the crazy one” and it “wasn’t my fault” was so helpful,  as this was something I was raised to believe that NO MATTER WHAT, it was ALWAYS MY FAULT.

I am also learning to believe the Alanon saying:

It’s Not Your Fault! – National Association for Children of Alcoholics

Remember The Three Cs: 

I didn’t Cause it. I can’t Cure it. I can’t Control it.

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Sometimes, no matter what I personally do or how hard I try, some people are never going to WANT peace, much less try to make it. They will reject all overtures for resolution, preferring to stay in their wrestler’s corner ready to “take on all comers.” They will never give up once they have you in their sights. (NoMoreDramaMom, IGaveUpNowWhat and the founder CC in particular).

It’s sad when communication breaks down, and lack of communication and understanding turns into anger, fear, hurt, rejection and ultimately hatred. This is just what we as estranged parents have experienced with our adult children in the first place, whether it came from a perceived lack of communication with us, or the other way around.

I hope whenever my own situation is ready to be resolved (it takes TWO for resolution to be achieved; I can’t do it alone), that I am able to truly “listen,” especially now since it has been driven home as to what happens when people DON’T listen or give someone an opportunity to say they are sorry or even explain.

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I have posted the heartfelt letter I received posted in full, from someone who was banned with no explanation from the P.E.A.C.E. site, and also given no way to “make amends” or even understand what the problem was.

With people like these disordered admins on these toxic forums, there is no way to offer to try and make things right or bring things back into balance. It’s “off with their heads” and that’s the end of it. This is a very sick forum.

Their refusal to do this is a sure sign of severe  Mental Illness and Personality Disorders. It’s *almost* sad, except that those individuals make no effort to get help or even try, so what can we do? Nothing. What should we do? Leave them alone to stew in their own juices, and to find other people to be angry at or fight with. It doesn’t have to be me.

How do families live with this kind of crazy-making behavior, day in and day out? I don’t know, except going “No Contact” in order to protect oneself from toxic situations from that point forward.

I now give those people wide berth, and am glad for it.

This doesn’t mean we don’t grieve for our lost relationships and “what might have been,” but I have had to learn that we can’t control other people. Only they can. And if they decide “NO” they are “right and you are wrong,” there is no changing their mind.

I don’t know what it might take to get them to see how destructive their behavior is, but it’s not my job to try to fix things, since I can’t “fix” anyone else.

I can only work on fixing and understanding myself. That is where my focus and energy must lie.

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I have posted this email with no identifying information, just as I received it, and a pseudonym of “Linda.”

Thanks again to the author, letting me know I “wasn’t the only one.” All this time I have been asking myself “what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t this situation have been resolved? Why did it turn into such a hotbed of conflict and contention? How could this have happened on a site that professes to offer PEACE and SAFETY, when the exact opposite occurs?”

This letter I received is so well written. Really helps to put my heart a bit more at rest, and I hope it does yours, too. This is for anyone who has been blindsided like so many of us were, either by the PEACE site for estranged parents forum, or by an estranged adult child.

I hope this helps a bit in trying to understand “why.”

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Gracias, amiga. Bendiciones.

“The winds of grace blow all the time; all we need do is set our sails.”

Dear God please show us The Way.

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