Almost 100 more hits, in less than a month! Where do people find the time or inclination to follow my little blog about a terrible experience on a site that was supposed to help and support those with estranged adult children? When the “administrators” estrange the community members?
I guess coming here gives them something to do. It’s give me a sense of power that I never knew before, as I can tell the truth about my own experience, warning others who are in the same extremely fragile state I was in, and recognize the reality of dealing with disordered individuals.
I can see it all in “black and white,” without threats of physical violence since all they can do is type out words and I have been able to track the IP addresses of the worst ones so they will be taken care of if they get out of hand.
It’s a sense of “power to protect” that I never had growing up as a child, and I can see so much of the disordered adults that were round me in them. And now, telling my truth, I find I am free and no longer harmed especially when support comes from unexpected sources to let me know it’s not me… it’s them. It’s THEIR BEHAVIOR that we are dealing with, pure and simple. And I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I’m can’t cure it.
I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM. I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR.
I am RESPONSIBLE FOR ME, MY SELF AND I. And as long as I can behave in a way that I can be proud of that helps other people, that does not lash out at other people, that finds a way for everyone to come to understanding and come out ahead, ALL WILL BE WELL.
And for those who do NOT wish to behave the way I do, then they can be gone. I can walk away, move away, step aside, divert my attention, give them wide berth and just let go. I don’t have to try to explain and wish they would “undertand” when they DO NOT WANT TO. All this suffering just for me to FINALLY UNDERSTAND that “it’s them, not me.”
Some people just want to HAVE THEIR OWN WAY, pure and simple. And there is nothing you can do. And “that’s that.”
And by blocking, not approving, stepping aside, ALL WILL BE WELL, and it HAS BEEN.
I intend to keep it that way.